Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Graduation - Update

Figured y'all would be itchin' for an update on the graduation party planning, so here it is:

  1. Met again at our house - we were actually able to get a picture of the four boys all together, in a single picture and I think all of them are even smiling.
  2. Two minutes after the boys were captured on film, two of them split.  These boys aren't close.  It's odd that they're having a joint party.
  3. No decision was made on the meat during the meeting. 
  4. We will be getting together again in a few weeks to address all the invitations (YAY)
  5. We will be making 40 lbs.  Yes 40 lbs of potato salad.
  6. Still no decision on how many buns are needed.
  7. The moms will shop, together, on a Saturday at Sams.  - I made a note to get hit by a truck the night before so I wouldn't have to go.
So, after the meeting and because I think we should have made a decision on the meat, I sent a follow up email:

Me:  Do you really think we need to have 3-4 different kinds of smoked meat?  Isn't pulled pork just fine?  It's the cheapest and easiest.  Thoughts?

Family #2:  Silence

Family #3:  Let me know

Ex-Wife of Family #3:  Whatever is fine

Family #4 (aka Pain in the ASS):  Can we freeze the meat before hand?

Me:  Dude smoking the meat says that it would be best if we didn't freeze it.  Says it could be pulled up to 7 days prior but he'd rather do it a few days before.

Family #2:  Silence

Family #3:  Let me know

Ex-Wife of Family #3:  Whatever is fine

Pain in the ASS:  Silence

So another week passes and me and Family #3 make the executive decision to order ONLY pork and to up the quantity from 50 lbs finished to 60 lbs.  We also secretly agree to 400 buns.  Family #3 places the order.

Another week passes and I get an email from Pain in the ASS:  What day?  I'm busy on May 1st.

Well let's see, since the party is the 14th and the last email said it would need to be pulled a few days prior....I'm not even responding to her stupid fucking inquiry. 

Oh and also, I found out from Family #3 that his ex-wife is not happy we are ONLY having pulled pork - she really thinks we should have at least one other type of meat.  Ummmm - she said she didn't care?  Well now she does.  So ummmmm, what other kind of meat does she want to do????  - - - HAM. 

HAM?  How the fuck is HAM different than smoked pork?  How is that providing a variety?  Fuck it.  We're having smoked pork and if people don't like it, they can go hungry.

Oh and because I couldn't figure out why in the hell we were making 40 lbs of potato salad, I sent a follow up email:
Me:  We decided to make 40 lbs of potato salad and get 50 lbs of meat.  Was that what you wanted?  The same amount of potato salad as meat?

Family #2:  Silence

Family #3:  Let me know

Ex Wife of Family #3:  I can do whatever

Pain in the ASS:  Fine.  We'll just do 20 lbs. 

Oh - and the Pain in the ASS is getting us EACH a 4' x 4' vinyl banner of our son.  YAY!  I have no clue what I will do with that after this party, maybe hang it in the kitchen?  Or family room?  Maybe our bedroom.....the possibilities are endless!


  1. You are such a glutton!! LOL My kids want to do the very thing I did apon graduating...they want to go get drunk with their friends...I say it's a family tradition that should not be squanded away!!! I think my ex is buy a keg and even dragging out the grill...GREAT!!! I will go home from graduation to my nice quiet house and toast the fact I have no more kids in school cause I'm an old fuck now til I can't find my mouth with the bottle....and then we'll have my family out in June to celebrate all the precious little kids related by blood advancing in their education and I can go after them with the garden hose...now THAT's a party!! :)

  2. That sounds like FAR more fun than my party! As a matter of fact, I think, if ANY of the kids show up here to drink beer after that party, I will hose them down and run them off! I'll make a note of that in my handy dandy fucking notebook. As soon as I find the damned thing.