Thursday, April 15, 2010

Get off Other People's Boobies

As you know, my sister-in-law recently had a baby.  That's my nephew.  He's cute, but I think I already mentioned that.  Anyway - she has decided she will nurse the baby - and that is 100% HER choice.  I did not nurse my children.  I tried with the first one and it just didn't "fit" for me, so I switched to bottle feeding and formula about 5 weeks into it and then started both of my other two immediately on the bottle.  That was MY choice.  I didn't really give a shit what anyone thought, and it seems like back then, quite a few of us bottle fed our babies - we weren't into the whole nursing scene for some reason so I was kind of part of the "in" crowd.

All of my children have been very healthy and oddly intelligent.  Yet, the pro-breast milk movement will claim that bottle fed babies are less healthy and also not as smart.  I guess if I had not bottle fed these 3 kids, there is a good damned chance none of them would have ever experienced so much as a sniffle and also, they would have had near genius IQ's.  I know a few women who exclusively nursed and they have some of the sickliest children I've ever seen in my life and some even have struggles with learning - so I'm NOT convinced that breast feeding is the only way to go to ensure health and brilliance in your offspring. 

That's the background.  Here's the current:  The new mom made a comment on her FB status that the breastfeeding thing rather "binds her down" - which it does - it puts the burden of care 100% on the mother whilst the father is out flitting about doing whatever.  That's ONE reason I never liked breastfeeding but this isn't about me.  So anyway - she makes that statement.  To which she is entitled and I can totally relate - TOTALLY RELATE.

So her "friends" on FB pipe in (of course):

So Agree. But your doing the best thing now. That is nursing. Way to go mom!!!

That's right! God made women to breast feed their baby because HE knew it might be the only time you get to relax a little. Besides all of the other benifits from it, cheaper, rewarding, bonding, etc. I'm very proud of you! Remember, that first little fat double chin is from YOUR milk!
Not to mention the he helps burn a whole lot of calories!

Ya know what?  Shut.the.fuck.up.  For those of us who have chosen to NOT breastfeed or are considering that the job may not be a fit for us, we've already generated enough self-induced mommy guilt without having you lactation nazis out there making these kinds of stupid fucking remarks. 
You're doing the best thing now.   I'm sorry - but the BEST thing to is make certain you and baby are BOTH comfortable and well nourished.  And if one of those components in missing from the equation - then it's NOT the best thing. 
God made women to breastfeed.  No, God did not make us TO breastfeed.  And who the hell determined God was in a fact a HE?  I find the entire comment above to be sexist.
....helps burn a whole lot of calories....  Like I said, I didn't breastfeed and I was back in my pre-maternity gear by the time I returned to work at 6 weeks each time. I'm not convinced of this little "fact" either.
When the hell did women stop supporting each other and start taking a stance on this subject matter and taking sides?  Ya know what sister-in-law - YOU DO WHATEVER THE HELL FEELS RIGHT AND COMFORTABLE TO YOU.  If you want to breast feed that baby and it suits you - then do it.  But if it just doesn't work out for whatever reason - that is fine also - and it's no body else's business how you're gettin' that baby fed. 
Fucking nosey assed, judgemental people drive me nuts.  And no, I do not have boobie breastfeeding envy if that's what you're thinking.  As a matter of fact - I ADMIRE women who have the tenacity to do this shit for longer than 5 weeks.  I honestly do.  It escapes me how they could pull it off because I'm selfish and wanted my own body back to myself after birthing the children, but I totally admire women who can do this.  And if they cannot, I certainly do NOT go around telling them shit that guilts them even more, like "It's the BEST thing."  - It's AN OPTION people.  And there are advantages and disadvantages to BOTH. 

That's all I've got to say about that.  (for the moment)


  1. Oh sister how I can relate with you on this one!! I too chose not to breastfeed my children and they too are smart and NEVER sick! This is totally an individual's decision and no one has a right to judge....ugh that pisses me off to no end! I had an old neighbor that was a member of the La Leche group of women that thought you were not a "real" mom if you didn't breastfeed.....needless to say we didn't talk much after I gave her a piece of my mind!! To each their own....judge me all you want just don't let me know your verdict is my motto!!

  2. Well...being the "why can't I have it all??!!" type of a bitch that I am...I did both...I nursed when it was good for me...first thing in the morning, before I remembered the kid's name...or my own for that matter...and middle of the night, because..well, see above. But I also had formula and bottles and during the day that's what the kid got cause it didn't work for me when I had twenty seven..hundred other people needing something from me RIGHT NOW!!! And after three kids and several years of daycare I can say with a certainty I know..who care what anybody else thinks, that what ever is best for MOMMA is best for the baby....where do you think the old saying came from...If I ain't happy my lovein' little ain't gonna be happy either!!!! Let me know if you need some help hunting down these well meaning idiots and slaping some sense into them...I'm having a hormonal roller coaster ride today and I'd be delighted to give you a (slapping) hand!! :)

  3. I have one word for you all right now: MASTITIS. And, this shit HURTS! I'm supplementing with bottles now and after I go to the doctor tomorrow (if I live through milking my tender, swollen breasts and chills from the fever today), I will wean my son.

    It just not worth this when a bottle can do equal good -- and dad can give mama a MUCH needed break.