I'm sick. Seriously. I have been running my mouth since the fall about everyone getting their Vitamin D3 groove on - preachin' to the universe about this - and I was diligent. In my dosage - 2,000 IU daily. Never missed a day. Feel a little puny? Take 4,000 IU. And then....last week....I slipped. I don't know why. It was a bad week - as you recall, Aunt Flo made an unexpected visit and totally screwed up my life and in the midst of the chaos, I failed to take my daily dosage of germ-be-gone. And now - A nose cold. Not a head cold. Not a chest cold. Just a cold in my NOSE. I'm so pissed. This will NOT beat me. I will double up on my D3, my Zinc, my C AND my Garlic. Dammit immune system - kick in and QUICK - I have shit to do. I just started my new exercise plan with my new Wii Active - I am BUSY and HAVE PLANS. With my Wii Active. Which is a perfect segue into the next subject matter - (damn I'm clever!)
Exercise. So last night I used my Wii Active for the first time. I ROCKED! The trainer dude told me so! I was going to pick the trainer lady, but I knew her voice would grate on my last raggedy-ass nerve, so I went with the dude. I made it through the entire 22 minute work out without requiring CPR. The helpful calorie burner thingie told me I had burned 82 calories! So I ate a chocolate bar as a reward. Okay - maybe it wasn't a chocolate bar - it was a bowl of chocolate cheerios - which-by-the-way are AWESOME!!! BEST.INVENTION.EVER. Then I went to bed. Yes. Immediately after I ate the cheerios. WHAT? I burned 82 calories - I was just replenishing my supply. Get off my ass.
Anyway - there I was - layin in bed - sleepin - all snoring and in a great sleep groove, when all of a sudden - DING! The bell went off. You know the one - the one in your head that goes off in the middle of the night for no fucking reason. What? Yes. You do TOO have one - do NOT try to make me out to be the crazy one here - we all have them - the bells in our head. Whatever. Anyway- it went off - so I woke up and looked at the clock - 1:30 a.m. What.The.Fuck. And then the voices started in on me. "Get up and EXERCISE." At 1:30 a.m.? "YES!" Seriously? Get up, right now and exercise? I exercised a few hours ago, can't I sleep? "NO" - so I obeyed the voices and got up. But instead of going to exercise, I went to the bathroom, hoping they would tire and leave me alone. The voices are not brilliant - and they confuse easily - they likely meant to tell me to get up and pee but the words came out wrong.
When I returned to bed, the voices had quieted down some, but they were now chanting, "Can't WAIT to get up and exercise - exercise when you get up at 5:30! Do the math sister, if you get up at 5:30, start the car and start exercising, you can still get to that cheer practice by 6 a.m. - DO IT!!" So I tried the math - but I was too tired to solve the equation - Shut.The.Fuck.Up voices. I'm going to sleep.
When the alarm went off at 5:20 a.m. and I started to roll out of bed, the voices told me to STAY in bed. Jesus. It's no wonder I'm forever walking around dazed and confused - the voices cannot make up their minds. Maybe they're on opposing teams? Anyway - fast forward through the remainder of the totally uneventful morning at work, and at noon - I raced home and used my Wii Active. Yes. I did. It's a 30 day challenge - on the game - and that's like a double dog dare and I will NOT be beat by a damned animated game. So I kicked its ass at noon. Then, after sitting in a very long
bored board meeting, I raced home, shoved kleenex up my nose and used my Wii Active AGAIN. And I will do it again tomorrow - and the next day. And listen up BACK FAT - you *will* be gone by summer.
Oh and also, I need to go purchase a sports bra - I bruised the top of my foot yesterday running in place.