Wednesday, February 2, 2011

No. We cannot be "Friends" Butthankyouverymuchanyway

Is anyone else growing tired of Facebook?  I am.  Don't get me wrong - my voyeuristic tendencies are really fulfilled by this social media mecca.  But in some ways - it's like living in a house with no curtains.  Or walls.  Or closets in which to hide.  Sure.  You can control WHAT you post on Facebook.  And at times I forget what a broad audience my posts are hitting.  I know some of the posts have been offensive to some - but brought joy to others at the same time.  And then when I try to please the masses - I find myself posting benign shit that no one in the world could possibly give a shit about.  What's the point?

I have hidden so many people from my news feed that I really wonder why I even remain friends with them.  People who post nothing but angry political propaganda.  People who post nothing but Bible scripture.  People who post NOTHING but bullshit from games they evidently play on Facebook all day long.  Those people bore me.  Would I really hang out with someone that only screamed about hating the President all the time?  No.  Would I spend time with someone who quoted scripture all day?  No.  Is my judgment of these people fair?  No.  It's not.  They are using Facebook as their platform to promote their cause - but that doesn't mean they're not good people who deserve to be "hidden" from my daily life.  But seriously - shut.the.fuck.up.  Oh - and quit playing stupid assed games on the computer all day.  These people are the most pathetic of all.  Get a life. 

It's also funny to me the things people will say on Facebook - things they would otherwise never say to someone's face.  Or maybe they would.  And most certainly now that they've gained confidence by saying it online, they'll now start making their brazen statements face-to-face.  What a world it will be - when everyone freely speaks their mind without regard to the feelings of those around them.  It's interesting to me - the number of "friends" I have on Facebook.  Yet, honestly, I SEE only a fraction of those people on a regular basis - and interact with even fewer either on the phone or electronically.  Most of my really trusted and true friends aren't even on Facebook.  Funny.  I have this entire other life - my Facebook life.  Filled with inanimate faces of people who post random shit about what's on their mind. 

Periodically someone I've forgotten I'm "friends" with will comment on my wall or my status - and when I see their name pop up, I think, "oh FUCK - I totally forgot I was friends with this person."  I mean seriously - do you really forget your friends?  NEVER has one of my walking talking friends shown up at my door and I've had that feeling of, "Oh yeh - I forgot we were friends." 

Or how about the people that WANT to be your friend.  Really?  Can I be your friend?  I know  you don't remember me - and we've never talked - but I know you from Joe and I want to spy on you and such - so can't we be friends too?  Ummm.  Negatory.  Yesterday it was the mother of a former employee asking to be my friend.  I have the former employee blocked - and it took me quite a while to figure out who the mother was - I saw we had 5 friends in common - but frankly - those 5 friends have nothing in common so I was dumbfounded as to who this person was and how they knew these 5 friends of mine who don't know each other.  But no. Thank you mother of former employee - I don't want to be your Facebook friend.  I've never met you, your offspring was a total pain in my ass and I have no clue why you would even WANT to be my friend. 

Oh - and to any of you who saw the video of me on Facebook - the one where I was dancing - the one my daughter shot and posted?  No.  I was NOT drunk.  I was stone cold sober in the middle of a Saturday afternoon.  My back was stiff and I needed to move around - and I was bitchy so I needed to turn my frown upside down before I left for a game watching party.  This dancecapade in the kitchen solved all those ailments.  Yes.  I'm just that fucking weird.  I dance alone in my kitchen - sober. 

Well, that's all - I'm off to cull through my friends - it's a daunting daily task - but one that must be completed.


  1. But...but... I don't see you on a daily basis and I think you're friends with MY mom, but, but, I would be so sad to be culled from your masses of fans. I never forget that we're friends!

  2. I only stalk you on your blog. Feel better?