.... obviously I did what any well-organized, type A personality, person with entirely too much shit on their plate would do on a weekend when temps were in the 70's in mid February..... laid in bed and stared at the ceiling and watching a "Hot in Cleveland" marathon. Thank GOD I got all caught up on that show. I'd never seen it, but fortunately every episode was aired yesterday so I was able to get completely caught up. Mark that off my list of shit to do!
I'm not sure what happened. I was totally on the ball - organized - had plans - BIG plans - to get all the shit done and to spend some time with the girls. And instead - I found myself so mentally overwhelmed that I couldn't function. On Saturday I read two books - Twitter for Dummies (should have bought Twitter for Morons instead) and The Birth Order Book. So when I got done, I found I was dumber than a dummy and confused as fuck by Twitter - PLUS - I had no clue who I was or why I am the way I am. Confused and lost in a sea of words I'd read the day prior, I could do nothing on Sunday but stare blankly at the TV and the ceiling. It was gloomy out - yet warm - but still the gray and doom was not helping my attitude or energy level at all. So instead of feeling on top of my game and fulfilled when I went to bed - I felt grateful the day was over so I could hopefully sleep off the guilt of screwing up a perfectly good day.
At 1:00 a.m. I woke up - the sheer number of tasks on my plate looming over my sleepy brain. And it hit me - I believe Monday is a federal holiday - which means NO MAIL and NO BANKING - woo hooo - I had found a task that I could remove from my plate for the day - NOW I believe I can tackle Monday. As I sit here and think it through - it does seem doable. And it also occurred to me that it's possible I feel so overwhelmed and shitty in general because I ate an entire fucking crescent roll cheesecake over the weekend. And have slipped back into shitty eating habits and haven't seen my treadmill in nearly two weeks. I hope to hell that cheesecake is all gone - if it's not I'm going to throw it in the trash because it is EVIL. And has caused me more pain than I have ever imagined. I hate you cheesecake. But I also wonder what you would taste like if cocoa were added to your filling to make you a chocolate crescent roll cheesecake. My God but you're sinful. See what I mean? It's control over me is frightening. I must remove it and all reminders of it from this house and my mind immediately. And I must spend some quality time with my treadmill - I'll probably sweat cream cheese. So if you see me sitting around licking my arms - it's the cheesecake. Honest. It is.