Thursday, February 10, 2011

Time Marches On

Incredibly busy day on tap for today - meetings from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. with no breaks to speak of.  In anticipation of the chaos I would endure today, I went to bed at 8:30 last night to make certain I was well rested.  At 1:00 a.m. I woke up ready to get my day started!  WTF.  That's no good - I'm not getting up at 1:00 a.m.  Fortunately, I was able to get back to sleep rather quickly rather than my normal course of lying there in bed, tossing and turning and finally giving in to insomnia.  At 3:00 a.m. I again awoke - this time soaking wet ....  night sweats.  Lovely.  Just lovely.  Finally at 5:30 I gave in and just got up.  Not sure if I'm rested or not.  And I guess at this point it really doesn't matter - it's time to get the day a' movin'! 

Last night I learned that a young woman with whom I'm familiar has cancer.  She's actually had it for 4 years, but I just found out.  And it's not been a secret - so I'm not sure where I've been for 4 years.  Likely because I'm only familiar with her and not friends with her, the information just never entered my universe previously.  Anyway - I was so shocked by the information that I spent a good deal of time perusing her blog.  Check it out -  And of course after reading about her journey, my mind kicked in again to the thoughts of "what the hell am I doing with my life?  Am I making a difference - TO THE RIGHT PEOPLE?"  So I observed myself the remainder of the night - and how I interacted with my family - and when I laid my head on my pillow, I thought, "I wonder if that's how I would have behaved if I was her?  If I lived every day not knowing if there would be a tomorrow? "  But you know what?  NONE of us know that there will be a tomorrow.  Why do we always assume there will be?  Why do healthy, able bodied people take for granted the gift they've been given?  I must change my wicked ways.  I really must.  I need to go back and revisit the list of shit I said I wanted to work on in 2011 and make an intentional effort to tackle some of those things.  Some of them were so basic - have coffee with a friend once a week.  Okay.  I haven't done that yet.  I remember yesterday I also saw where it's been a full month since the horrible shootings in Arizona and I thought, "A MONTH AGO?  That happened a MONTH AGO?  What the hell have I been doing for the last month?  It seems like only 2 weeks ago or so to me." 

There are many days that I wake up with no clue what the date is - and when I think about it - it doesn't come to me.  I have to actually LOOK at a calendar for it to register.  Is that a good thing?  Or a bad thing?  I don't know.  Does it really matter?  I suppose it does if you're not wanting to lose track of time and your life? 

Did I laugh yesterday?  Yes.  I did.  When I finally got a customer on the phone and he said, "You're IT" - in reference to the fact that we'd been playing phone tag for 3 days.  BAH HA HA HA!!!!  Stab me in the eye with a dull stick.  That was the funniest thing I heard all day - "You're it!!"   I have GOT to make it a point to get more comedy in my life.  Because the day phone tag becomes an enjoyable sport is the day that Jane officially becomes D.U.L.L. 

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