Incredibly busy day on tap for today - meetings from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. with no breaks to speak of. In anticipation of the chaos I would endure today, I went to bed at 8:30 last night to make certain I was well rested. At 1:00 a.m. I woke up ready to get my day started! WTF. That's no good - I'm not getting up at 1:00 a.m. Fortunately, I was able to get back to sleep rather quickly rather than my normal course of lying there in bed, tossing and turning and finally giving in to insomnia. At 3:00 a.m. I again awoke - this time soaking wet .... night sweats. Lovely. Just lovely. Finally at 5:30 I gave in and just got up. Not sure if I'm rested or not. And I guess at this point it really doesn't matter - it's time to get the day a' movin'!
Last night I learned that a young woman with whom I'm familiar has cancer. She's actually had it for 4 years, but I just found out. And it's not been a secret - so I'm not sure where I've been for 4 years. Likely because I'm only familiar with her and not friends with her, the information just never entered my universe previously. Anyway - I was so shocked by the information that I spent a good deal of time perusing her blog. Check it out - www.lovingpink.com. And of course after reading about her journey, my mind kicked in again to the thoughts of "what the hell am I doing with my life? Am I making a difference - TO THE RIGHT PEOPLE?" So I observed myself the remainder of the night - and how I interacted with my family - and when I laid my head on my pillow, I thought, "I wonder if that's how I would have behaved if I was her? If I lived every day not knowing if there would be a tomorrow? " But you know what? NONE of us know that there will be a tomorrow. Why do we always assume there will be? Why do healthy, able bodied people take for granted the gift they've been given? I must change my wicked ways. I really must. I need to go back and revisit the list of shit I said I wanted to work on in 2011 and make an intentional effort to tackle some of those things. Some of them were so basic - have coffee with a friend once a week. Okay. I haven't done that yet. I remember yesterday I also saw where it's been a full month since the horrible shootings in Arizona and I thought, "A MONTH AGO? That happened a MONTH AGO? What the hell have I been doing for the last month? It seems like only 2 weeks ago or so to me."
There are many days that I wake up with no clue what the date is - and when I think about it - it doesn't come to me. I have to actually LOOK at a calendar for it to register. Is that a good thing? Or a bad thing? I don't know. Does it really matter? I suppose it does if you're not wanting to lose track of time and your life?
Did I laugh yesterday? Yes. I did. When I finally got a customer on the phone and he said, "You're IT" - in reference to the fact that we'd been playing phone tag for 3 days. BAH HA HA HA!!!! Stab me in the eye with a dull stick. That was the funniest thing I heard all day - "You're it!!" I have GOT to make it a point to get more comedy in my life. Because the day phone tag becomes an enjoyable sport is the day that Jane officially becomes D.U.L.L.
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