... the presentation, that is. I bet it's been 6+ years since I've given a formal public presentation - maybe longer - I really can't remember. And since the day I was asked to be the guest speaker for this professional group, I have been a nervous wreck. What to say? What to say? What to say? Fuck it- focus on WHAT TO WEAR. That one I can handle. But then, this morning, I still had to reach out to a trusted fashionista for advice on what to wear - I only gave her two choices and THANK GOD her first choice was also MY first choice. Easy enough. Presentation at 11:45 - 10:30 and I'm still on a conference call - still have no game plan - still pacing and fussing over my make up. Finally decided I would just talk from the heart. Just talk. I know how to talk. I tend to never STFU - so just talk. And I did.
It was a small group - and pretty laid back setting. I didn't have a microphone, or a podium and didn't have to stand on a stage - just stand - and talk. The unnerving part was that it was a group of women IN the field of communication. I just kept praying I wouldn't cuss. Praying that I wouldn't use the wrong words. Praying that I my voice wouldn't tremble and the nerves wouldn't take over. And I totally pulled it off. Or so I think I did. People smiled. People nodded their heads. I got a few laughs. People asked thoughtful questions. And some people approached me afterwards to talk more. I had MORE to say so I really wanted to talk to them ALL afternoon. But alas, they did not work in a ROWE - so they HAD to return to their jobs. Poor things. I pitied them. But they were such a nice group and they didn't heckle me and make me feel like an idiot. And I was elated to share my story and honestly? I felt like I had in some way touched a few of them in a way I had hoped - I connected. They weren't alone in their journey as professional women - I could relate and share and tell them how I changed my life.
So given the fact that I puked a little in my mouth the day I was asked to give this presentation, and the fact that I dreaded it up until the moment I arrived today - I find it somewhat uncanny that I feel this calling/urge - HUGE desire - to share more. Let me know if you want me to come speak to your group - about ROWE - or about being a working woman - or about fighting demons - or any other subject matter that I'm quite certain I will find myself instantly expert on. Evidently I've a hankering to do some talking!