Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I Survived!!

... the presentation, that is.  I bet it's been 6+ years since I've given a formal public presentation - maybe longer - I really can't remember.  And since the day I was asked to be the guest speaker for this professional group, I have been a nervous wreck.  What to say?  What to say?  What to say?  Fuck it- focus on WHAT TO WEAR.  That one I can handle.  But then, this morning, I still had to reach out to a trusted fashionista for advice on what to wear - I only gave her two choices and THANK GOD her first choice was also MY first choice.  Easy enough.  Presentation at 11:45 - 10:30 and I'm still on a conference call - still have no game plan - still pacing and fussing over my make up.  Finally decided I would just talk from the heart.  Just talk.  I know how to talk.  I tend to never STFU - so just talk.  And I did. 

It was a small group - and pretty laid back setting.  I didn't have a microphone, or a podium and didn't have to stand on a stage - just stand - and talk.  The unnerving part was that it was a group of women IN the field of communication.  I just kept praying I wouldn't cuss.  Praying that I wouldn't use the wrong words.  Praying that I my voice wouldn't tremble and the nerves wouldn't take over.  And I totally pulled it off.  Or so I think I did.  People smiled.  People nodded their heads.  I got a few laughs.  People asked thoughtful questions.  And some people approached me afterwards to talk more.  I had MORE to say so I really wanted to talk to them ALL afternoon.  But alas, they did not work in a ROWE - so they HAD to return to their jobs.  Poor things.  I pitied them.  But they were such a nice group and they didn't heckle me and make me feel like an idiot.  And I was elated to share my story and honestly?  I felt like I had in some way touched a few of them in a way I had hoped - I connected.  They weren't alone in their journey as professional women - I could relate and share and tell them how I changed my life. 

So given the fact that I puked a little in my mouth the day I was asked to give this presentation, and the fact that I dreaded it up until the moment I arrived today - I find it somewhat uncanny that I feel this calling/urge - HUGE desire - to share more.  Let me know if you want me to come speak to your group - about ROWE - or about being a working woman - or about fighting demons - or any other subject matter that I'm quite certain I will find myself instantly expert on.  Evidently I've a hankering to do some talking!

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