Thursday, July 15, 2010


So - that was it.  The final.fucking.straw with the walking washer.  In case you missed the background on that washer - you can read all about it here

It was Tuesday of this week that the piece of shit met its final demise.  See, the brunette was washing her softball uniform and a few other small items - you know - about maybe 3 pounds of laundry.  If that.  I'm not much good with how much shit weighs.  If I can't lift it then it's too heavy.  If I can lift it, then good enough.  If my clothes are too tight, then I need to put my fork down.  If they're too loose, then I need to eat a Snickers.  That's how I deal with weight.  So I really have no clue what her laundry load weighed - but I'm guessing not much.  So, she's all up in her room gettin' gussied up for her softball game and doesn't hear the pleading of the washer to come to its assistance, and it just walking and dancing and hopping across the laundry room - evidently having the time of its life.  And when she meandered downstairs to move her shit to the dryer:

Don't focus on the hideous vinyl flooring - it's 25 years old and still holding its own - I can't bury it just yet.  And yes - that is WATER - every where.  That washer has managed to get its drain hose pulled out of the drain and it's just dancing and spewing water all over the house.  Fortunately, it happened to the brunette and NOT the prodigal son.  The brunette is a fast AND responsible thinker.  The prodigal son is just a fast thinker - he would have high-tailed it out of the house and left that shit there for me to deal with after work - claiming he never saw it.  The brunette, however, is kinder and more of a care giver - she and her BFF, "Girl" - cleaned it all up - and NOT with my Kirby OR my Dyson - nope - they actually broomed it out into the garage (which I also did at about her age - but unfortunately it was February and my dad about killed himself getting out of his car - but that's a different story y'all).  Anywho - they got it all clean and dry.  I was so proud of them!!

But the husband, he was pissed.  And also because he thought it was wise to stay out at a bar with a friend until 2 a.m. on a work night and drive his dumb drunk ass home (different story there too) he called and said he was out looking at new machines for me.  See.  Good shit just keeps coming my way.  I am seriously waiting for the other shoe to drop here.  But for now - I just keep going along with it.  I figured he was looking to make amends with me since I cussed him out at 2 a.m. and hung up on him, so I was willing to take new machines as a peace offering.  So, I ended up with these:

And then later that evening, when the husband and I were out walking and he was telling me how stupid he was for driving home, I mentioned how I'd cussed him out and hung up on him  - he didn't even fucking remember that phone conversation.  I thought about wondering why the hell he was giving me a peace offering - but decided at that point I didn't really give a shit - I had what I wanted - new machines!!!

And I've been having a love affair with those machines ever since!!! 

Wonder if I can get him to install that new tile next time?


  1. THAT'S IT!! I'm bringing ALL my laundry to your's only fair..since you have these totally cool GREEN washing/drying monsters and I am stuck with my old dancing out the back door crap!! Your floor is a step up from 'laundry room' is the old screened in porch of this old farm house and the floor is porch boards...I shit you not...painted over several there is just an array of color spuewed all over the floor. Just so not fair of you to have it all. I may just have to hate you for the whole rest of the day!!!

  2. Definitely - bring your laundry over!! ALL of it - blankets - everything. Grab a 12 pack and we'll sit by the pool and drink and do laundry - it'll be a BLAST!!!