Friday, June 25, 2010


I'M CALLING BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have to call it as I see it and I've seen enough of it already this morning - so I'm calling it!!

1.  Are you fucking kidding me?  A news item about a 2" turtle that wasn't allowed on a plane?  Seriously?  Is this the best we can come up with?  People are starving, homeless, out of work, suffering, dying and we're worried that AirTran wouldn't let some damned kid bring their 2" pet turtle on the plane?  First off - pet turtles are fucking stupid.  You can't play with them.  They aren't soft, fuzzy, affectionate, or amusing.  Turtles sit there.  And then, every few hours, they might move - to a location 6" from the last place they were sitting in their cage.  Second of all, who the fuck takes a pet turtle with them on a flight?  Do you take your fish with you when you go on vacation?  NO. (Fish are equally stupid pets but at least they can be beautiful to watch - not ours of course - because our tank is pond sludge).  What parent tells a kid "Yes - you can take SlowPoke on vacation with us!"  Good GOD people - pull yourselves together and get a clue.  THEN - the whole ordeal makes the national news including a live interview?  And all the little brat with the turtle could do is sit there and stroke the turtle's shell and look at it lovinglin.  IT'S A FUCKING TURTLE - IT CANNOT FEEL YOU PETTING IT - NOR DOES IT FIND ANY REWARD OR FLATTERY BY YOUR ACTIONS.  I wanted to punch that mother in the face and then grab the turtle from the child and throw it across the room.  There.  Problem solved.  SlowPoke is dead - he didn't want to go to Disney Land anyway. 

2.  Our summer daycare is having "Family Fun Day" today.  Well guess what?  We work.  That's why we pay YOU $110/week - to watch and entertain our child so we can WORK and not feel guilty that she's not getting any social interaction or doing anything entertaining over her summer break.  So guess what else?  As a result of your piss poor planning - there will be a group of children there that feel pretty fucking special because their family is present and having a 3-legged race with them, and then there will be my daughter's group - the ones whose parents are NOT there and feel fucking shitty about their family.  Is that really the desired results you were after?  THINK people - THINK.  If you want to have a family fun activity - do it in the fucking evening when mommies and daddies are NOT at work.  Idiots.  I have a right mind to just tell them how stupid they are.  So off goes my 7 year old - in her jeans (because it's going to be 96 today and she refuses to wear shorts) and her Sturgis shirt (because evidently we are bikers) - looking forlorn because she knows that she will be in the group with no family present.  God I hope she's in a group.  I really hope she's not the only one without a family there.  Thanks fuckers.  For providing me this horrible horrible guilty feeling that I haven't felt in many many years.  I HATE YOU.

3.  I thought I was growing an organic garden.  I really did.  I think I even bragged about it.  I think I heard the husband brag about it.  Well this morning I caught him with some bottle of chemical - mixing up a concoction of death and disfigurement into a giant spray bottle.  I asked what it was and it's methalion?  Or something like that.  Sounded like Agent Orange to me.  He's spraying it all over the vegetables.  But assures me that it wears off in 7 days.  Or we can't eat the vegetables for at least 7 days after it's been sprayed.  I don't know.  But I'm sure as hell glad I spotted him in action.  So I would know.  I mean fuck - what if I were to have walked out there and popped a cherry tomato into my mouth right off the vine?  I might have grown a second head or third arm (which actually could be of use so I would likely be okay with that one).  Despite the fact that I've given him many organic solutions as suggestions - it's just easier and more of a sure thing to just blast the garden with pesticide.  Whatever.

I'm looking forward to the rest of my day with great anticipation of seeing more bullshit.  I'll update y'all when I do. 

1 comment:

  1. 4) You set up for a garage sale in your drive way to GET RID OF YOUR CRAP. That's the point. Spend a day or two, make a little money, loose some of the crap you no longer want, but then you mark everything in your sale so high, no person in their right mind would buy it at a GARAGE SALE!! You fucking idoiots!! Me: Would you take less for this baby bouncer? Fool behind the card table: What did I mark it? Me: (thinking well Fool, you are the one the marked it, don't you know? ) You have $30.00 on it. Fool: what did you want to buy it for? Me (I'd like to have it for a quarter you idiot!!) What's your bottom dollar....(always make them start the bidding)..Fool: Well it was my mom's and it was only used by one child and it was really high doller and blah blah blah oh for the love of God just get to the price lady!!!! FINALLY, I guess I could come down $5.00. Me: I guess you want it more than I do. Geezzz people, THINK!!!!!