Mundane Monday

So it's Monday.  You know how that goes, right?  Everyone is dangling from the last scraggly nerve I have.  I think they do it intentionally, to be honest with you.  I stayed up too late, I drank too many beers, I got up half-hour late, I had to turn around and go back home because I'd forgotten a lighter, I hit my shoulder on the car door - all before 8:15 a.m.  Well, the staying up late and too many beers part - that was actually YESTERDAY - but the rest was before 8:15 a.m.  Well, I guess yesterday IS before 8:15 a.m. also, but I didn't want y'all thinking I was drinking the beers before I went to work.  I was, but then I slept for 8 hours, so it's not the same thing as what you were thinking.  Nevermind.  Y'all are on my nerve too.  You know what I mean.  I did make it to the office on time for my 8:30 conference call - because being IN the office FOR the conference call is just highly fucking critical - because you know - it's not something you can just do from anywhere. 

Then I spent the day playing catch up and meet.  Meet about this.  Meet about that.  Race the clock to get the work done.  I'm not sure why I felt so rushed and behind today, but I did.  I also felt stifled.  Maybe it's just PMS.  We'll see what tomorrow brings.  Likely more hot and steamy weather, but maybe something good will come up.

Daughter #1 is in Florida for the week.  I miss her terribly and she's only been gone a day - she's my favorite brunette daughter!  Miss you sweetie!  (although I don't think she actually reads my blog because I think she thinks I'm mean - which I am not - I'm just brutally honest - I tried to explain that to her, but at 15 I'm not sure she got it - certainly I'll wear off on her someday).  Oh and also, a new commenter on my blog commented that I was angry.  "Angry Much" is what it said.  No.  I'm not angry, reader.  I'm really not.  If I was angry, you'd know it.  Next time I get angry, I'll just post my raw vents and give you a nice wholesome taste of angry so you'll be able to recognize anger from cynisism and sarcasm in the future.  But I did like that you found your way here to this obnoxious blog, and that you even took time out of your life to comment.  THANK YOU!  Sincerely.  I mean that.  I'm not being sarcastic this time.  Seriously.  I genuinely appreciate it!  Screw it - now you're getting on that raggedy nerve of mine.

So last fall, when Daughter #2 turned 7, she wanted a fish.  I am pretty sure it was just last year.  Anyway - I envisioned a single gold fish in a simple bowl that would survive about 4 weeks which would have likely matched up nicely to her attention span.  But the husband?  Hell no.  He has to do everything OVER.THE.FUCKING.TOP.  So he gets her this tank - I don't know how big it is - 10 gallon?  It's not like a huge tank - but it's a rectangular jobbie that required a filter and some other shit and all added up that day to about $300.  The daughter picked out 4 guppy to put in it.  So there we were - with our $300 tank plus accessories and buildings and plants and shit - and our $5 worth of fish.  One by one they've all died off - and she didn't give a shit when they died.  There is a lone catfish in the tank currently.  And the tank looks just like pond scum.  It really is a lovely sight to behold.  The daughter lost interest many many months ago - but the other day she did ask if anyone bothers to feed her fish anymore and could someone please clean out the tank because it is GROSS. 

Yeh.  I'll clean it out - it'll be really simple too - I'll take the whole catfish and kaboodle and dump it in the woods behind the house.  There.  Task complete.  The husband was disgusted with my approach to the matter - "You're not really going to throw the fish away are you?"  FINE - whatever - I'll put the fish in the decorative cess pool pond you have going in the backyard and a toad or snake can eat it, if you feel that's a more humane approach?  He didn't answer so I'm guessing he's just not wanting to get involved.  I'll give it a week and if that tank hasn't been touched, I'm throwing it all out.  Mean?  NO.  I wanted a single goldfish in a BOWL.  Not a damned TANK.  One day these people will listen to me.  (or so I like to keep believing). 

My books from Amazon are not here yet - I had hoped they would be here by today.  Hopefully they shipped today because I'm really anxious to get busy reading them.  It should be a nice, long, painful journey to change.  I'm looking forward to it.  I may have to first take a class on hypnosis or subliminal mind altering.  If I can practice one of those two arts, this convincing of change effort will likely be MUCH simpler.  Does anyone know how to hypnotize people without them being aware of it?  Oh Jesus - maybe I've been hypnotized to be a perpetual bitcher and that's why I can't stop bitching.  THAT EXPLAINS IT ALL!!  Now - to figure out WHO did this to me so I can have it reversed. 

Gotta go - I need to make a list of every person I've encountered the last 30 years and hunt down their contact information.  This may take awhile.  Help is appreciated, if you can offer any.  Kthanks!