So last Sunday (not just this past Sunday, but the Sunday prior), I got a text about mid-afternoon from Happy's daughter, Spunky. "Momma said that the worst thing that could happen to you if you fell off a jet ski was that you'd get a butt douche, but I think that's an enema."
Right then and there, I knew Happy & Spunky were up to no good on a Sunday afternoon and having WAY more fun than I was. But of course, just about anything is more fun than lying on the couch listening to the blonde proclaim her perpetual boredom and not being able to think of a single damned thing to do on a Sunday afternoon. One thing led to another and Spunky invited me to join her and Happy at a bar at a nearby lake. Knowing full well I would partake in adult beverages, I coherced the Brunette to go with me so she could drive me home and being the sweet little gal that she is, she agreed!
When I arrived on the deck at the bar, I was greeted with squealing and glee that overwhelmed me and then the next thing I knew, Happy picked me up, demanded that I wrap my legs around her and she hugged me and kissed me and carried me around showing me off to all her new best friends at the bar. It was pretty obvious I had some catching up to do to get to that level of alcohol induced bliss. And being the obedient type that I am, I immediately conformed and starting slamming back the beers with them.
And we laughed. And laughed. And laughed. And kissed and kissed and kissed. I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard and kissed so much. It was one of those afternoons that you never wanted to see end, because the lake breeze and view were gorgeous and serene and the laughter was loud and authentic. And the profanity poured out of our mouths like water from a tap. I think we even ran off a family of 8 that had made the poor judgment call to sit out on the deck to enjoy their late afternoon meal.
We loved the waitress so much - a darling little 18 year old. With seven foot long legs, wearing tiny jean panties for shorts coupled with knee high black boots. See, when you're our age, these types of hotties don't piss you off - you're just impressed with their gorgeous youth and their amazing legs and I think we told her 100 times that if we had legs like that, we'd wear that same outfit. Hell, we probably tried to get her to give us those boots so we could mimic her look for the day. We named her "boots" and beckoned her to our table time and again to fetch us more beers... "BOOTS!!! BEERS!!!" I left her a fat tip at the end of the day because she'd been such a good sport about the whole thing. No doubt went back to her dorm and told her friends about the crazy drunk old gals that hassled her all afternoon and prayed that she didn't grow up to be like us.
And then we ran out of music. So I loaded up the juke box with a 10 spot and proceeded to pick out all my favorite songs. Only I played all my favorite favorites at the beginning and therefore didn't really get to hear them - being in charge of the juke box sucks and also it's boring. Standing there alone. Perusing millions of songs - trying to spend your money "just right". I don't think I'll be in charge of the juke box anymore. I don't like it. I made Spunky take over at one point because it got so mundane. Plus, I could see Happy out there on the deck dancing and I wanted to dance with her.
And then the Brunette said she needed to go home - something about school and homework and blah blah blah. So responsible. And since she's an awesome driver when I've been drinking, we made it home safely.
I never want to forget that day. Because it was an epic moment of spontaneous fun! And I love Happy and I love Spunky!
And I think I might have agreed to host Christmas. Blame it on the al al al al alcohol.
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