Yesterday the blonde was entertained by a visit from her cousin until about noon. And as predicted, 5 minutes after the cousin's departure, "I'M BOOOOORRRRREEEDDDDDD"
And then I heard that about eleventy nine hundred times until I finally could take no more and locked myself in my room for 2 hours. And once I decided it was safe to come out and also that it was time I started getting dinner together, and cautiously approached the kitchen, "I'M BOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEDDDD"
Just shoot me. So as I cooked dinner, I could see her in the TV room. Shittiest look of disgust and irritation and OMG - my heart started bleeding right then and there - SADNESS. And like a sucker punch it hit me - "What a miserable life this child must have. She actually looks forward to school because she's not planted in front of the TV alone. Or stuck watching us drink and smoke and dance in the garage. She's stuck at a perpetual party that she cannot enjoy. I.AM.THE.WORST.MOTHER.EVER"
So I asked her to play Pass the Pigs with me. And she obliged!!! We had such a great time playing, that we decided to play Scrabble. And we asked the Prodigal Son to play with us. And he DID! And when the dinger on the oven went off, instead of clearing the game and setting the table for dinner, we just grabbed plates of food and yelled for the grumpy old man, the brunette and Taylor Swift to come get food. And we squeezed around the table, playing Scrabble and eating dinner - AT THE SAME TIME. SO.NOT.ME. But SO.MUCH.FUN!! And when we got done eating dinner, we decided to play Pictionary Man and make brownies!!! ALL OF US - except the grumpy old man who has spent his weekend trying to figure out what's wrong with the Prodigal Son's car (besides the obvious shit that the windows are stuck in the down position and super charger is on the blink and the damned thing leaks power steering fluid).
And then the Prodigal Son's girlfriend, Ginger, showed up and we split into different teams and played some more Pictionary Man. The brunette and Taylor Swift sucked. But PS & Ginger kicked our butts. So brunette and TS decided they'd had enough and left to go to a campout. And PS decided he wanted some beer, so I ran to the liquor store to get some and when I got back?...........
Pictionary Man was all put away. The couch was in the driveway, the lawnchairs were out, the music was blaring in the garage and there they all were............. Waiting - for the never ending garage party to begin. And it was then that it hit me - they like it in the garage. The blonde was dancing and Ginger and PS were playing Ninja and all was well with the world. And then 3 friends dropped by to say hi and partake in the fellowship we offer so many people in our garage and home. And all was well with the world. And it hit me - like a sucker punch.... I AM NOT THE WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD!!!