Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Still in the running.... for Mother of the Year!

I survived Homecoming last week.  If you recall, I was putting my foot down against bullshit plans that involved 10+ girls, their parents, their dates and their dates' parents.  I won that battle and in the end it worked out just fine because the brunette's date had to clean up the football stadium after the game anyway and therefore couldn't retrieve her until after 10:00.  Yes.  That's what I said.  He had to clean up the football stadium. 

See, our high school puts that task out there to extra-curricular and athletic groups as a fund raising opportunity.  And I have NOTHING against that at all.  What I do NOT understand is WHY the sponsors make those groups tackle that chore ON Homecoming night.  The game ran late (10:00 I think), then they had to clean the shit up, then change into their good clothes and THEN pick up dates and THEN try to get to the dance before lockdown.  So they were at the dance for what?  And hour?  Maybe 1/2 hour?  The brunette went through this shit last year  on Homecoming.  So I sent a lovely letter to the cheerleading sponsor regarding the entire ordeal.  It's stupid.  Those stands can be cleaned up the next morning.  As a parent who spends money on dresses and things FOR dances - I'm less than appreciative of the fact that they don't get to wear them or stay at the dance for very long.  When I did some prying, I found out it's the wrestling coach I need to go after this year.  And I intend to do so.  Dumbass.

Anyway - I'm pretty sure I'm going to get mother-of-the-year afterall!  Because even though I told the brunette, "no" to her Homecoming plans, yesterday she asked me if she could sleep in a box on the football field this coming weekend and quickly replied with an affirmative answer.  YES!  Get ready at your friend's house and take pictures?  NO.  Sleep in a box on the football field?  YES.  You may.  What all do you need?  Tell me all about it!  It's part of some class or something - to teach them to be homeless what it's like to be homeless.  She handed me some information from school on the event and as I was reading through it - it really sounded like a lot of fun!  They're going to build box mansions and decorate them.  Then they'll have a contest to see who can put ont the most layers of clothing and still walk.  And also, wait for it.....  dumpster diving!  Oh!  And a scavenger hunt - for food hidden around the stadium.  They're so smart! It will be JUST LIKE BEING HOMELESS!!! 

Because being homeless and living in a box is just that much fucking fun!  Every minute is like a game - a contest to see who can have the biggest box, and wear the most clothes and dumpsters are only filled with wadded up newspaper.  And sometime during the evening, a guest speaker will arrive - once one is found.  What.The.Fuck.  Are they going to just walk the streets and find a homeless person that night and bring them over to speak to the kids?  What the hell does that even mean?  Once one is found.  I'd like to know when the shopping cart races are going to be held, personally. 

In the end though, all the money and canned goods they collect will be donated, so it's all for a good cause.  But I really think they're just glorifying and in some ways mocking the whole homeless issue.  Why not put them on a bus and just cruise the streets of our town at 10:00 at night?  Drive down by the river.  Let them see for themselves how these people have to live.  A real dose of reality. 

Oh well.  What do I care?  I'll be busy admiring my trophy because I said YES to the plans!

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