Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Cold - I scoff in your general direction

I'm sick.  Seriously.  I have been running my mouth since the fall about everyone getting their Vitamin D3 groove on - preachin' to the universe about this - and I was diligent.  In my dosage - 2,000 IU daily.  Never missed a day.  Feel a little puny?  Take 4,000 IU.  And then....last week....I slipped.  I don't know why.  It was a bad week - as you recall, Aunt Flo made an unexpected visit and totally screwed up my life and in the midst of the chaos, I failed to take my daily dosage of germ-be-gone.  And now - A nose cold.  Not a head cold.  Not a chest cold.  Just a cold in my NOSE.  I'm so pissed.  This will NOT beat me.  I will double up on my D3, my Zinc, my C AND my Garlic.  Dammit immune system - kick in and QUICK - I have shit to do.  I just started my new exercise plan with my new Wii Active - I am BUSY and HAVE PLANS.  With my Wii Active.  Which is a perfect segue into the next subject matter - (damn I'm clever!)

Exercise.  So last night I used my Wii Active for the first time.  I ROCKED!  The trainer dude told me so!  I was going to pick the trainer lady, but I knew her voice would grate on my last raggedy-ass nerve, so I went with the dude.  I made it through the entire 22 minute work out without requiring CPR.  The helpful calorie burner thingie told me I had burned 82 calories!  So I ate a chocolate bar as a reward.  Okay - maybe it wasn't a chocolate bar - it was a bowl of chocolate cheerios - which-by-the-way are AWESOME!!!  BEST.INVENTION.EVER.  Then I went to bed.  Yes.  Immediately after I ate the cheerios.  WHAT?  I burned 82 calories - I was just replenishing my supply.  Get off my ass. 

Anyway - there I was - layin in bed - sleepin - all snoring and in a great sleep groove, when all of a sudden - DING!  The bell went off.  You know the one - the one in your head that goes off in the middle of the night for no fucking reason.  What?  Yes.  You do TOO have one - do NOT try to make me out to be the crazy one here - we all have them - the bells in our head.  Whatever.  Anyway- it went off - so I woke up and looked at the clock - 1:30 a.m.  What.The.Fuck.  And then the voices started in on me.  "Get up and EXERCISE."  At 1:30 a.m.?  "YES!"  Seriously?  Get up, right now and exercise?  I exercised a few hours ago, can't I sleep?  "NO" - so I obeyed the voices and got up.  But instead of going to exercise, I went to the bathroom, hoping they would tire and leave me alone.  The voices are not brilliant - and they confuse easily - they likely meant to tell me to get up and pee but the words came out wrong. 

When I returned to bed, the voices had quieted down some, but they were now chanting, "Can't WAIT to get up and exercise - exercise when you get up at 5:30!  Do the math sister, if you get up at 5:30, start the car and start exercising, you can still get to that cheer practice by 6 a.m. - DO IT!!"  So I tried the math - but I was too tired to solve the equation  - Shut.The.Fuck.Up voices.  I'm going to sleep. 

When the alarm went off at 5:20 a.m. and I started to roll out of bed, the voices told me to STAY in bed.  Jesus.  It's no wonder I'm forever walking around dazed and confused - the voices cannot make up their minds.  Maybe they're on opposing teams?  Anyway - fast forward through the remainder of the totally uneventful morning at work, and at noon - I raced home and used my Wii Active.  Yes.  I did.  It's a 30 day challenge - on the game - and that's like a double dog dare and I will NOT be beat by a damned animated game.  So I kicked its ass at noon.  Then, after sitting in a very long bored board meeting, I raced home, shoved kleenex up my nose and used my Wii Active AGAIN.  And I will do it again tomorrow - and the next day.  And listen up BACK FAT - you *will* be gone by summer. 

Oh and also, I need to go purchase a sports bra - I bruised the top of my foot yesterday running in place.

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