So you ever had one of those friends? You know the ones, the minute you saw them you knew you had to have them in your life? You took one look at the person and you're all, "OMFG! DO YOU WANT TO BE BFFs? CUZ I WILL D.I.E. IF I DO NOT HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE!!!!"
If you don't have one of these friends, I feel sorry for you and highly recommend you go get you one of these friends - RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!! You will not regret it people. Trust me!
Anyways, I got me one of these friends. Way back in... hell I don't even remember what year it was. 1997 maybe? Maybe it was early '98. Whatever. It was a long fucking time ago and I L.O.V.E me this friend. There I was all spiffy and professional in my banker uniform looking like I was 75 when I was 30, and this cuter than a button little blonde with red lips came in for an interview. And then she opened her mouth to speak and WTF are you kidding me? Jesus! She has a southern accent? MUST.BE.HER.FRIEND. She didn't know a damned thing about banking, but she offered to vacuum the floors or sort my paper clips or whatever the hell she could possibly do because she was lonely and new in town. That's nice. And we parted company. But an hour later, I could not stand the thought of going through life without her in it, so I called her ass back down there for a second interview and hired her on the spot.
Then I took her with me to my next job. I went to hell, she went with me to make sure no one kicked my ass or hurt my feelings. Inseperable. That's what we were. Then one day, something happened. I must have blocked it from my memory because I never can remember the exact cause, but we broke up. And it was an ugly breakup and we didn't speak for YEARS. And my heart ACHED for her. ACHED. I would cry and cry and cry to the husband and when he'd ask me what was wrong, I'd tell him how much I missed my soul sister and needed her in my life. I had to have her or I would absolutely DIE. I could NOT live without her another day of my life. So... being the brave bitch that I am, I emailed her. Just reached out to get a feel for how she would respond. Hopeful I would get a response, but not really expecting to. But then!!! To my great surprise, she DID respond!!!!! I skipped around the kitchen with joy! Yippeee!!!! My soul sister misses me too and loves me and she responded! And after I got done celebrating and congratulating myself on my successful mission, I opened her email to read it.......
SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY? YOU HAVE A LOT OF FUCKING BALLS REACHING OUT TO ME AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO ME AND HOW YOU TREATED ME AND GO TO HELL BITCH.
Hmmm. Not really the response I was hoping for.... but hey! At least it was a response!!! Score 1 for the home team here! So I responded back, "Fair enough." But she hadn't finished chewing my ass completely off so she retorted with some other shit ensuring I had absolutely not one iota of ass when she got done. And I didn't. But then she told me she was wearing the fuzzy slippers I gave her eleventy nine hundred years ago so I knew deep down she really did love me and wanted to make amends. And over time - a very long and careful walk across the burning embers - we were able to come together again. And the first time the husband saw the two of us together and watched us throughout the evening, he too cried tears of joy and said, "You were right. You two belong together. The wife knew it all along."
And now I've hauled her ass back to work with me. And she's a hard damned worker. And smart. But she doesn't give herself enough credit for the brains she has, so I get push her and help her stretch and grow so she can see in herself what I've ALWAYS seen in her!! Yesterday, she started herself a blog - she's funny as all get out and makes me smile to hear her talk or read her stories! I KNOW she will be a great blogger and you'll enjoy her as much as I do. But SHE'S MINE. SO DON'T GO STEALING ON MY SOUL SISSER.
Blessed in every way! That's what I am!
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