Sunday, July 31, 2011

Well Ain't that some SHIT?

So.  The person that prompted the last rant of mine up and died last week.  About 4 days after the rant.  WHAT.THE.FUCK.  Who does that?  It's still surreal. 

I have been trying for days to wrap my head around it and trying even harder to remember what I loved most about him.  Why can you never think of that shit when you're sad?  Or angry?  Or when you just WANT to.  But as I stood, ironing clothes for his funeral just now, it came to me. 

I LOVED the way his eyes lit up when he saw me at family gatherings or if I dropped into his clinic with an ailing animal.  His eyes would light up and he would get a big grin on his face and rise to his feet and embrace me.  And he would always utter the same words:  "You look lovelier than ever!"  And I believed him.  Every single time - for 27 years. Now who the hell is going to tell me that at family gatherings?  I will miss that.  And I will miss his laugh and his ranting about politics.  Even though that part drove me nuts and I think I told him last time he started in on me to shut.the.fuck.up.  But to him, that was conversing.  Drove me batty.  But I will still miss it. 

Who will fix my broken animals?  He fixed up my momma cat just last Christmas after she was hit by a car on Christmas Eve.  He fixed up a puppy with parvo just a year or two prior to that.  He even assured me when my ex-boyfriend's dog ate an entire Pyrex casserole dish that he would be fine - that a  human could eat an entire beer bottle and live through it.  I always suspicioned he knew that to be true because he'd done it before. 

I always loved the way he loved his wife.  He loved that woman more than anyone I've ever seen love anyone else.  He did.  I will always remember their wedding day.  So young.  So very very young.  And so simple was the wedding - I think that's what made it even more beautiful.  Not to mention it was really one of the only non-hideous brides maid dresses I ever had to wear.  I appreciated that.  And someone played a tape of "Could I have this Dance for the rest of my life" - and they danced around a very simple room.  And you know what?  For 27 years they danced together.  And I admired their love for each other.  It was the kind of love you envy. 

So many many people loved this man.  And admired him.  I hope he is looking down on everyone now and smiling that shitty grin  - and I hope he gives a little chuckle at the out pouring of love for him.  And then I hope he gives himself a swift kick in the ass.  Just because.   Godspeed Kevin.  I love you.

1 comment:

  1. The first time Kevin met our dog, Mercy (our beautiful disaster), he knelt down in front of her and said very quietly, "Oh girl, I can see it now. You are going to break my heart." When we finally arrived home yesterday, there sat Mercy, and all I could think was, "I guess he broke our hearts first."