So here it is. Thanksgiving Eve. In the morning. So is that actually still Eve? I've always been confused by that. This year, in my state of not being able to deal well with large crowds and chaos and having found some solace in my semi-reclusive state, I've opted out of the typical large Thanksgiving gathering. And while I feel guilty about that decision, I'm also comfortable with it. Is that even possible? To feel guilt and comfort at the same time? I suppose it is. Instead, we are having a small (and ever-growing smaller) gathering at our house. I bought a 28 pound turkey - to feed what appears to be 5 people. I'm sure there will be plenty. So I don't have that angst hovering over me - the angst of not having enough food. And I'm determined to make the day special for the blonde - where she gets some good quality time as a part of the family and a part of the preparations in the kitchen and not one where I send her off to play and entertain herself because I'm too busy and involved with the chaos. I don't feel stressed. I don't feel like I even care if shit is clean. It's a strange serenity - - - and part of me feels guilty that I don't care. But I do care. Just in a different way than I normally do.
The brunette has opted to spend the day with her dad. Which is fine. It's his turn. Or something like that. And then she's going Black Friday shopping with her step-mom - because this is something I do not do. I can't imagine ever wanting anything badly enough that I would actually intentionally go out shopping on Black Friday. I did it ONCE. I did not enjoy it. And I don't see the point of it. Of course, I don't see the point in doing a lot of things.
I'll be spending my day today - getting my hair done, likely going to the DMV, if the Prodigal Son gets his ass out of bed during daylight hours, and preparing to cook for tomorrow. The husband? He's decided the fish tank in the blonde's room needs cleaned. I think next year, or maybe on Christmas, I'll put him in charge of the real preparations, cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. And I'll sit back and focus my attention on things like, dusting all my shoes or straightening all my hangers in my closet. It will do him some good to see first hand what the holidays are really about - from my perspective. For now? I'm just not going to worry about any of it. If I forget to make the gravy? Tough shit.