Monday, October 25, 2010

Garage Saling It

Last week we had a garage sale.  I hate a garage sale.  I really do.  BUT the crap I'd set out to get rid of was just "too good" to immediately donate so I wanted to give it a whirl and see what I could make off the crap before I decided to just run it over to the local charity store.  And after 24 hours of effort, a near divorce and being jewed down more times than I can count - I walked away with $280!!!  WOO HOO!!!! All worth it in the end!

Well - the brunette and I had gotten our hairs did - so that garage sale money paid for that!  And it paid for the new shelves we built in the now cleaned out basement.  And then we decided to buy a new TV for our bedroom - so I just kept spending that money over and over and over!  Until, it appears I'll need to have ANOTHER garage sale next week to pay for all the shit I bought with this $280.   Oh well.  Such is life.

But here's the really funny part - I haven't deposited the money into my account yet - I still have the tin of cash hidden.  So REALLY?   I haven't even yet TOUCHED that money so in reality - I still have the $280 to spend.  I'm thinking new shoes?  Maybe a new coat?  Or a purse?  What do you think I should buy with that money?  Maybe a birthday present for the husband?  I mean, I was sort of nasty to him during the garage sale.  But that wasn't really MY fault.  The first day of nastiness was HIS fault - he was NOT being helpful - at.all.  He cleaned up the garage, and hauled all the boxes up from the basement.  But then, he just kept wandering aimlessly behind me re-organizing the treasures and it was confusing me because I couldn't "see" how much of one type of thing I had to figure out how to best display it all.  And then the blonde was reclaiming the treasures as soon as I was putting them on the table.  And I really thought I might have a nervous breakdown.

The second day of nastiness wasn't my fault either.  It was my hair's fault.  I'd gone and gots my hairs did and had it perked up with red highlights.  Red hair is feisty.  And sassy.  And doesn't take shit from anyone.  So my hairs were making me say nasty shit to the husband and causing me to be bold and mouthy. 

But the third day - he was trying to tell me my hairs were still making  me feisty - but he is clueless.  It was him again.  Being UNhelpful.  Putting shit in the "free" bin that wasn't supposed to be free.  Selling shit that I had marked $15 for $1 because the "lady really needed it and you should have seen her - she didn't have any money and NEEDED THAT PHONE."  How the fuck she pay for a phone service if she's that damned broke?  Funny -an hour before that a couple was arguing over buying that phone for the marked price of $15 and the unhelpful one pipes up, "It just doesn't really work that great - but it's brand new - but it doesn't get good reception and we can't hear out of it."  NOT HELPFUL. 

Hey!  Where's that bike that was for sale?  Oh  - he let some kid have it.  He needed it and didn't have any money on him.  There's a special place in heaven for people like my husband and it's called Pauperville.  He's a helluva guy and an amazing jack of all trades.  Highly talented.  But does not possess one lick of business sense.  Not one.  Because running a garage sale is JUST like running a small business and because I cannot do anything halfway and because I'm high strung and anal and OCD - I wanted $15 for that damned phone and because I'm a control freak - only I can decide when to mark shit down.  Shit I was otherwise going to donate.  It's not free until I say it's free, dammit.

And that's how we almost ended up in a divorce over this garage sale.  Oh.  THAT and the fact that HE did not have one single item that was his in the sale.  NOT ONE.  But now that all my shit is cleared out - I think next spring we'll go through all of his and unload buckets of stuff and since it's all tools and shit like that - we will make a fortune!  I've already got the money earmarked for a new shower!  And a new floor!  And a trip to Disney Land!  And....

Cripes.  I suck at earmarking money.  But at least I got new hairs AND a new TV!!!

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