Friday, April 1, 2011

10 Tips for the Workplace

  1. Mind games are only effective if the person/people with whom you are playing them on are unaware of the fact that you're playing them.  Once they're on to you, you're just making a complete ass of yourself and breaking down your integrity and credibility as a human being.
  2. When you're called on the carpet for displaying a shitty/condescending attitude and you react in such a way that negates the entire event (for example:  Oh NO!  Absolutely - that is NOT at all how/what I was saying, I would never say/do that!) - I know you're full of shit and it's just more of the same shitty/condescending attitude in my book.  
  3. When you claim your lack of response/action is due to not understanding or being aware of a formal procedure/process by which to follow in that particular circumstance, please understand that I understand that you are just full of shit.  "I didn't know what to do so I did nothing."  is never an acceptable means of handling a situation.
  4. Being coy is not cute, or demure.  Instead, it's just flat out fucking annoying when you're over the age of 4.  Any age north of 30 and it's just plain ol' disgusting.
  5. Turning every discussion into a 44 page email exchange is neither productive nor effective.  Nor does it convince anyone you are "lost" - it only proves to solidify that you are playing coy mind games - see #1 and #4 above - hence you receive the stigma of resident "pain in the ass".
  6. Life is more engaging and enjoyable when not interlaced with the poetic bullshit you continue to hand out.
  7. When confronted on a subject matter which centers on you, don't turn the subject around to someone else.  This is a clear diversion tactic and only proves that again, you are the resident pain in the ass.
  8. Your boss is oddly aware of the bullshit that goes on behind his/her back.  Don't go about acting as if you are being sly and pulling one over on them.  Word travels fast and the cat's out of the bag.
  9. Your personal issues/problems/crises are not valid excuses for continued shitty behavior and actions toward your co-workers.  It's never acceptable to make someone feel badly then turn around and in the same breath apologize and blame it on some personal issue you're having - the sting of your words will linger on and destroy your credibility over time.
  10. Being "in a fog" is only a valid excuse for a few days - not a few weeks, months, or even years.  If you're truly that "foggy" - seek professional help and get the fuck over it. 


  1. My favorite is #8. You got to be boss because you are clueless, right?

    Manipulative people will mistake kindness for weakness until this world comes an end.

    The important thing is that you can look at yourself in the mirror each day and know you have acted with integrity and you like who you are.

  2. I'm trying to figure out exactly how many distinct people you're referring to...

  3. Misfit - I love the comment - Manipulative people will mistake kindness for weakness until this world comes an end. Thank you - there are times I fail to remember this and start to really think that I might just be weak.

    ABY - I know, right? At least 2 - maybe more?