Last week I found nearly everyone I encountered to be hateful, cynical, non-supportive, demanding and just overall shitty to be around. I checked the lunar calendar AT LEAST 3 times - thinking it must be a full moon. But it was not. It was only a waxing moon. Then on Friday, Aunt Flo made her appearance. AH!!! AH HA!!! It was likely HER. Hijacking their communications, twisting them into fucked up little messages and then delivering them to me:
Them: Can you review this and see if it needs updating?
What I heard: This looks like shit and I can't understand why you haven't updated it before now. It's not like you're doing anything else.
How I responded: WHEN I AM DONE WITH THE 87,000 OTHER THINGS ON MY FUCKING LIST - I WILL GET TO THIS GOD DAMNED IRRELEVANT PIECE OF SHIT THAT YOU THINK NEEDS UPDATING. JESUS CHRIST GET OFF MY ASS. HOW MUCH SHIT DO YOU THINK ONE PERSON CAN HANDLE?
The whole week this shit went on until I was left in a pile of defeated tears. Too tired to function. Too tired to even drink a beer. Just defeated. And tired. So I pretty much slept all weekend. I'm hoping this week will be better. Although I am still pretty pissed for the way people spoke to me last week.
And I have NOT been in control of MY TIME as I should be in a ROWE. My time is being controlled and dictated at the moment which is no doubt why I'm so stressed. I do not like my time and life to be controlled by others. It is the one thing that absolutely puts me over the edge. But because it is right now, I'm feeling very much like I used to pre-ROWE. I'm optimistic this will change in the near future. I'm hoping it will. Please say it will?!?