Thursday, January 21, 2010

Are you ready to rumble???????

Welcome! Come on in and pull up a chair - you're about to be served a heapin' helpin' of inane truths, sarcastic realisms, exaggerated facts and satirical glimpses into the life of a 40 somethin', cigarette smokin', whiskey swillin', sick of the bullshit, can't take another minute of the insanity, who the hell's life is this anyway, truth seeker.

But first, a little background before you take that first magnificent bite: In my mind, I've already been blogging for years, I've been "discovered" and published and this is round two! (or three, maybe four). In actuality, I've been prattling on for 20+ years about wanting to be a writer and never sat down and taken the time to make that dream come true. Instead, I like to bitch about it. I like to tell my friends, "I really wanted to be a writer, you know. I wanted to write funny stories about life that would make people howl and cry with laughter. But instead, I pursued a dual degree in Accounting and Economics because I couldn't figure out how to make money with a degree in English."

I don't know why I feel the need to make this confession to every sucker who signs up to be my friend or every poor sap who is involuntarily related to me. Is it that I think the writing part will make me instantly more mysterious? Creative? Complex? Or is it that I want them to know that, although blonde (ahem) and outwardly dingbat-like and admittedly going prematurely senile, that once I was smart and achieved a DUAL degree - in ACCOUNTING and ECONOMICS? I'm not sure - but I always make this confession. (Albeit typically after a few of those aforementioned swills of whiskey). Anyway - back to the story - Poor, poor me. I've cried and whined about that career decision for years. And although I long ago abandoned the application of the degrees I achieved and for which I'm still paying, I did stay in the business sector, plodding along day to day, all the while entertaining funny thoughts to myself about life, work, parenting, etc. and all the while thinking, "I should write that down - it's funny!"

So here I am. I'm taking that step - the step to end the whining and pursue my dream of jotting down and sharing all of the hilarious thoughts that run through my head on a daily basis. Be forewarned though, I see things differently than most people. Or maybe I see them the same as everyone else, but the difference is I'm not afraid to openly admit how I see things. I call bullshit when I see it (and it's abundant). If you have thin skin or can't stand to listen to people bitch, whine, gossip or be brutally honest about life - then move along because this is no place for you. If cursing sets your panties ablaze - then I suggest you also move along. Cursing is my native language and since I've already secured my first-class ticket on the hell express, I'm not concerned about it.

You can expect to hear the inane truths about parenting, my children, men, my husband, my family, myself, my home and all aspects of my life. For those of you who choose to stick around and follow me - please know - I love my children, husband, family, myself, my home and my life - I do - from the very bowels of my soul. But gosh dang it - the truth must be told!!

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