Monday, October 17, 2011


I can't believe I haven't posted anything since October 6th.  Good grief - time really does fly. 

Last week, I had a garage sale.  If you follow me on Twitter, you will have experienced in real-time just how fun and entertaining  fucking miserable the whole event was.  Here are a few things I learned about garage sales this go around and want to share them with you so you can learn from my mistakes:

  1. Do NOT have a garage sale right before, during or directly after a full moon.  People are fucking insane and my ability to tolerate their bullshit is VERY low.  You will end up killing someone.
  2. ASK how much vodka was put into the jug of bloody mary's BEFORE you drink a gallon of them.  Lest you'll pass out in the middle of the afternoon and only learn AFTER the fact that you've ingested a magnum of vodka in less than 2 hours. 
  3. People are fucking rude.  And demanding.  And just overall shitty in nature. 
  4. Everyone wants to pay a quarter, for an item you have marked $1 and for which you originally paid $100 for.  AND they want it in a sack when they leave.  Go to the fucking mall if you want a sack. 
  5. My husband likes to stand directly in front of me so I cannot see anything but him.  It's annoying and obnoxious - like a small child looking for attention. 
  6. He also likes to correct me and is a severe know-it-all when his parents are around.  It's also fucking annoying. 
That's about it.  For now.  I'm sure there was other stuff and I'm sure this could have been funnier.  I'll try harder next time.

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