- Start cleaning at 8:30 a.m. on Friday - continue to clean and be on your feet until 3:00 a.m. Saturday.
- Drink while you do that cleaning - even though you know your house guests are arriving the next day and you will be hosting a dinner party.
- Drink more the following day when you are having said dinner party.
- Drink more the next day - start at noon!
- Drink until 4 a.m. the following day.
- Obama is a muslim.
- Obama is a [insert horrible racial slur here].
- The world is ending.
- Your relative's annual salary
- Children should be raised to fear their parents - it's the only way they will be able to make good decisions.
- Only eat 2 tacos in a 24 hour time period - fill up on booze instead
- Your relatives are pinching your ass and you are so drunk you don't even realize it
- Bring a chocolate cake to an indoor party with 10 kids - turn them loose in the house with it.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
If it sounds like a bad idea - it probably is....
Try to keep that in mind for the future please, kthanks. Here are all the things that I heard/did since I last posted that are bad ideas (and not all of these are things that I personally did - or heard for that matter - but if I heard them - believe me - they did NOT come out of my mouth). I'm not even going to tell you which ones are things that were DONE and which ones are things that were SAID - they're all bullshit and the main reason why I'm crazied out after the holiday weekend.
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Sorry your party bummed you out babe!! Some of them tend to do that!! I don't mind hosting something at my house, but only since I've given up giving a shit what anybody else thinks...family included. My house is over a hundred years old, it doesn't clean well...deal with it. I have a multitude of four legged kids who drool and shed and lately have been trying to wade in the water bowl..it's like a fucking kennel around here. Deal with it!! I have a LOT of flowerbeds and if you let your kids mess with them I will pick them up by the heels and sling them out into the yard with a might war hoop!! Deal with it. I will sit on my ass and visit with whoever is around me and if you want to visit with me...move your fucking chair closer.
ReplyDeleteI just finally gave up trying to be the hostess with the mostest or what ever the hell that's sopose to mean. A party is just that. A gathering to have fun...I know how....you are on your own!! that's my motto. Well that, and I segregate all our family/friends out into different parties so I don't have to deal with the crossbreed shit.
It would have been better if it hadn't rained!!